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Eating alone as a solo traveller: The perils and pleasures

Last Updated on 17 June, 2020

One big reason that many people I know are hesitant to travel solo is that they don’t like eating alone. Some find being in a restaurant alone with no one to talk to very awkward, others feel like they are being judged by other people for having no friends at their table. I used to feel weird about eating alone, but after lots of solo travel and growing comfortable with my own company, it’s less of an issue for me now. Here’s a look at what I’ve learned about eating alone as a solo traveller, and some tips for anyone feeling weird about eating alone.

Dining Solo - Lionel Martinez
Solo dining by Lionel Martinez via Flickr CC

Why is eating alone so difficult?

Eating alone is pretty inevitable if you choose to travel solo. But it can be a really weird endeavour, even for someone like me who’s pretty introverted and used to eating my meals alone, long after my family is done eating because I worked late, or when I have no lunch dates.

Perhaps the awkwardness of eating solo for me comes from a lifetime of communal Chinese-style meals and the idea that mealtimes are about coming together and sharing, so it does get a tad lonely when I have to eat alone. Also, I am notoriously indecisive when it comes to choosing food, worse if the menu is super extensive. Having someone else make the decision on what to order relieves a lot of stress for me.

Yeosu Bokchun Restaurant Interior
Solo in Yeosu, South Korea. The thing about Korean food is that it always comes with a whole plethora of side dishes, which is really awkward when you have a small appetite and are on your own without anyone to share banchan with!

When I first started solo travelling, I definitely tried to avoid eating alone in nice restaurants at first, but as I travelled solo more, I can now sit quite comfortably in a foreign restaurant on my own and order food without it being a big deal. I still tend to avoid really crowded places when on my own, and there are days where I just don’t want the hassle or am not in the mood, so I resort to takeout, either hiding back in my room or hostel or having a random picnic if the weather is nice.

Here’s what I love and hate about solo dining while travelling alone:

Pleasure: Eat whatever and whenever you want

My priority on most trips is usually to sightsee; when it comes to food, it’s mostly a way for me to experience the local culture, but I’m not hung up about finding famous restaurants or eating my way through a city. With limited time, I sometimes put off my mealtimes and eat at really weird times, or grab food to eat on the go. I find this harder to do when I’m travelling with other people and have to take their welfare into consideration. On my own, life’s a bit more flexible.

Taiwan Train Biandang
It doesn’t look super appetising but I love Taiwanese train lunchboxes or biandang. Convenient to eat on the go and always tasty.

Not having to worry about anyone else’s palate also means you can eat whatever you feel like without worrying about whether you’re depriving your friends from something they wanted to eat. I have a weird thing where I just don’t like vegetables. Like, none at all. So on my own, I can ask the kitchen to remove or put aside vegetables without feeling like I’m spoiling anybody’s dish.

Taitung Chishang MrBrown Ice Cream
Ice cream for lunch at 3pm just because? No one can judge when you’re travelling solo

Peril: Tendency to Overeat

Sometimes I go to these amazing markets and see so much choice and amazing food that I want to try, but when I’m solo, I can only eat as much as I can stomach (which is not much because I have a small appetite), and that means having to pass on trying some cool dishes because I just can’t eat anymore. I have a small appetite as wellAlso, I’m used to communal sharing so sometimes having to finish an entire dish without different tastes and foods to keep things varied can be a challenge.

Taipei Nanjichang Night Market LaiLai Dumplings
Taiwan’s night markets offer so much options but when you have limited space and the minimum order is 10 dumplings…

And when it comes to drinking beer and wine, that’s also very much a communal activity for me. Drinking a whole bottle of wine on your own just isn’t as fun.

Pleasure: Making new friends over meals

When you’re eating solo, sometimes the waitstaff take better care of you and talk to you a little more. Or what I’ve encountered a few times in quieter restaurants is starting a conversation with people who share my table or are in the next table to me. I’m a lot more likely to be friendlier with strangers when I don’t have my own companions with me.

I wasn’t expecting to make any friends when I decided to dine along along the Douro river stretch in Porto’s Vila Nova de Gaia, but as I savoured a very non-Portuguese meal of mushroom sauce chicken, the lovely J and S who sat in the next table struck up a conversation with me and made my dinner a lot less lonesome. The strange thing is that I would meet them again completely by chance the following day at the famous Livaria Lello bookshop.

That same night after J & S finished their dinner, I ended up chatting up another merrily rowdy trio of travellers who took over their table, something I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have done if I had a dinner companion of my own. I ended up joining their table that night, which led to a lot of laughs and port consumed. We even made vague grand plans to rent a car and head out to the Douro Valley, but at some point sobriety kicked in and I figured there was no way they were gonna wake up the next day from all that drinking (they departed to go dancing while I begged off to head back to my room. I was proven right the next morning), but it was a fun night while it lasted!

Portugal - Porto Douro Boat Ride Wefie
Say hello to L and E as we cruise the Douro post wine tasting

Then there was the Port Wine Tour I took with the Wild Walkers which brought us to the Ramos Pinto Wine Cave, followed by a visit to Porto Cruz, capped off with a sunset boat ride along the Douro River and a little fado at the end. I had 7 glasses of port and trust me when I say, people became real fast friends after the first few glasses :) We went for a huge group dinner later that night – though I don’t have any pictures of that!

Of course the lesson from all this could also be that alcohol is a great tool in the friend-making department, but you’re still more open to making friends when solo, alcohol or not.

Peril: Less options and variety

You can always tell when the Asians are in a restaurant because at some point, plates are going to be passed around and all the food at the table gets tasted. I personally enjoy eating meals as a group because by sharing, you get to order more food and have more variety, which is hard to do as a single person with a smaller budget. Also, I don’t eat a lot to begin with, so variety is hard when I’m on my own.

Portugal - Lisbon Principe do Calhariz
Me and Y at Principe do Calhariz in Lisbon – on top of this we had table sausage and a fishcake-looking cheese for sharing.

But if you are a small eater like me, it could result in savings just because you order smaller portions or you just don’t eat as much to begin with, and those savings can go to other things you might deem more important than food.

Pleasure: I’m more adventurous on my own

Not that I’m unadventurous when eating with company – but one thing I like to do when I dine on my own is to get the waiter to recommend a favourite dish or house special. I am a notoriously picky eater but somehow I find myself being a little more daring when I’m on my own.

So far it’s been an interesting experiment – that’s how I ended up ordering Chanfana (a Lamb, or according to the waiter – goat stew) while in Coimbra because the menu was entirely in Portuguese and that’s what the waiter recommended. I didn’t love-love it – the soup/stew bit was kinda oily but it was a Portuguese specialty and rather unusual.

Portugal - Coimbra Chanfana
The fun part was that an old German couple sitting in the next table had ordered this dish too, and that got us talking. The restaurant owner decided that we were all adorable and brought over his special bottle of Fire Water (well it’s actually called Aguardente Bagaciera but it sure burnt its way down your throat) to share. I had 2 shots and slept quite deeply that night

And in yet another restaurant when I returned to Lisbon, I decided on the Special of the Day Bacalhau a bras, which is their famous cod shredded and mixed with potato, also recommended by a helpful waiter.

Portugal - Lisbon Bacalhoeiro Bacalhau a bras
I managed like… 2/3 of that plate. This portion was enormous

Peril: No one to share dinner conversation

Portugal - Porto Gaia Restaurant
Empty opposite seat – this was in Porto where I met J and S who were in the next table

Meals are a great time to commune, and after an awesome day of travels, it’s nice to take a break and reminisce about the day over good food and drinks. Solo dining opposite an empty seat may be a nice way to collect your thoughts on your own, but I personally like being able to have a conversation with someone. I usually use the time waiting for my order to arrive to either people watch or catch up on journalling, and if all fails there is the phone and wi-fi to catch up with friends instead!


How do you feel about dining solo on your travels? Are you cool with being a table for one, or wish you didn’t have to do it?

Uptourist

Friday 6th of March 2015

As for me, I tend to eat more when I am with other people. If I'm all by myself, I can do with salad. But what I love about eating alone is that I can eat as long as I want.

Jaclynn Seah

Friday 13th of March 2015

no stress without anyone staring at you waiting for you to be done :)

Suzanne Fluhr

Sunday 22nd of February 2015

When I was working in an office all day, I usually preferred to eat lunch alone---I'd read the paper, pay bills, whatever. I haven't had to deal with eating out alone too much otherwise. I think I'd probably end up in very low key places and perhaps miss out on some of the better cuisine at fancier restaurants. It sounds like you manage quite well and as you mentioned, when you approach a restaurant meal alone, you have the opportunity to meet more people than if you're there with a companion.

Jaclynn Seah

Sunday 22nd of February 2015

In the office I usually prefer to eat with colleagues, though I have days I just want to be alone!

And yeah I definitely tend towards low-key restaurants on my own like you, so that's us missing out on fine food I suppose :P maybe one day I should attempt eating at some fancy restaurant on my own!

Usha

Monday 16th of February 2015

I am a huge fan of dining solo. But with husband in toe it's a rare occurrence of late. Here's one of my favourite meals on my own: http://www.indulgingmywanderlust.com/2012/09/akelare.html

Jaclynn Seah

Monday 16th of February 2015

Sounds like a lovely experience, really good looking food and it was nice of the guys to invite you over :) You and your husband could each eat at separate tables and pretend to flirt from afar ;P